Plugged In

Tomorrow I venture on my first foreign excursion and I am a little peeved that my leg has decided to hurt.  I have waited too long for this, that is what my leg is telling me.  I had a couple glasses of wine at what I call the Eden Prairie (MN) Zoo which is really the home of my grandma, aunt and little cousin Maddie.  It is a neurotic, estrogen ruled enviornment with 2 snarky cats and a dog with a thyroid condition; drinking is my only saving grace and wine makes me appear to not be a drunk.

Tomorrow my dad drives to the burbs from his downtown Mpls loft (I only mention it because it is my dream apartment) to take is prized (ha ha) daughter to the airport.  Him, my grandma and I will be doing breakfast somewhere before I depart on 13+ hours of travel.  My iPod is charged and I have a few good books to read.  I have what feels like way too much luggage but an entire duffle bag devoted to my dear, sweet and talented friend Melissa Steckbauer http://www.melissatheredpainter.20fr.com/ filled with sheets and blankets and other items to provide her warmth and comfort.  I snagged a couple pair of ear plugs from work so I may sleep on the plane because I will arrive at almost 10am there but it will be almost 3 am here.  Sleep is required on that plane.

Melissa informed me that she will be working when I arrive so Iwill have to retrieve her apartment key from a local store owner, let myself in and lock up to wander or lay down to sleep.  It will be almost noon which will mean lunch and the exciting beginnings of spending my hard earned dollars.  I fucking deserve this vacation but not this crippling pain in my leg.  Damn it.

I recently found a journal I kept when I was 19, right before I moved to Madison.  Most of the entries were teenage like gushes about boys or my lonliness upon arriving in Madison however I had to hand it to myself.  I moved out on my own at 17, and moved away when I was 19.  No student aide, no parents credit cards, no clue what I was meant to do with my life, certainly not college.  I was so brave and struggled at first only to leave once I was finally getting myself grounded.  I feel like my 20′s were wasted.  Yes, I had some great times but between living in debt, on pennies and having my focus skewed towards convention.

Convention never happened and I have recently accepted that.  Now I feel plugged in.  I feel electric.  I have no idea how long it will last but life feels right.  Life feels good.  I just hope that this moment lasts long enough to be receptive to as much as possible.  I feel like something really good is going to happen.  Yes, I am doing things I would have never done one or two years ago but everything is aligned.